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June 2012
Olympians NOT Barred From ArnoCorps UK Tour

May 2009
ArnoCorps Signs With Vulcan Sky Records

January 2008
A Wolf in Der Wölf's Clothing

October 2007
Terminated? Copyright Battle

January 2007
Hollywood Invasion

November 2006
Return to San Frantastic

April 2006
UK Tour

January 2006
Pumping in the New Year

October 2005
Museum Plans Unveiled

July 2005
Scratch and Sniffle

May 2005
2nd Annual World's Deadliest Bands

February 2005
Homeward Bound

June 2004
Learned and Shirley

March 2004
Hasta la vista, Halstucha?

January 2004
Austrians vs. Hollywood

December 2003
2003 Holiday Greetings from ArnoCorps!

November 2003
Homecoming King?

October 2003
ArnoCorps Responds to Recall Results

September 2003
Adler Smeared

August 2003
506 Ring Circus

June 2003
Charges Filed Against Toten Adler... Again

April 2003
ArnoCorps To Get Warped

March 2003
The Casualties Of Rock

February 2003
Homeland Security Investigation

December 2002
Christmas Greetings From ArnoCorps

October 2002
Courtroom Becomes Legal Circus

September 2002
Adler Lawsuit Begins Next Week

February 2001
Burnt Ramen Reduced to Ashes

January 2001
Gilman Crowd Conquered

Update from the AAP -Associated ArnoCorps Press
compiled by M. Calahan

Here at the AAP, we get more info than we know what to do with. But, we double check all sources in order to provide ArnoCorps‚ fans with up to date and factual information. In the last week, it seems the band has taken its lumps. Because of these unexpected occurrences, the ArnoCorps lineup is forced to change, however temporary. As lead singer Holzfeuer put it to me earlier this evening in a phone interview, "The band had has many dead and lost, but we keep trucking on. These setbacks will not prevail. ArnoCorps is greater than the bitch Fate."

On Friday morning March 14, Holzfeuer went to the storage room behind Pleasant Valley Funeral Parlor inhabited by guitarist Inzo. After knocking several times upon the sheet metal door, Holzfeuer bashed through. "What the hell‚s going on around here?" he called and waited for an answer, but one never came.

Holzfeuer took note of his guitarist‚s home. The guitar, the two shirts, the pair of socks. All of Inzo‚s belongings were gone. Written on the wall was a message from Inzo. Never one for running off at the mouth, Inzo had scrawled only one word: Gone.

For the time being, Inzo is listed as MIA.

The following week, another tragedy. While doing lifts, Schlagbolzen was injured when a 60 lb weight fell from the bar. Thinking it may have been a pastry, Schlagbolzen attempted to catch it. In doing so, he received a severe fracture to his wrist. Doctors estimate a recovery time of 8 weeks. Hearing this status, Schlagbolzen roared with laughter. "They not must know who I am. 8 weeks is for baby with cholic."

This injury serves to remind us that ArnoCorps training is extremely rigorous. Then again, that is why they are ArnoCorps and not a skinny emo band.

In what can only be described as an eerie coincidence, ArnoCorps previous guitarist, missing for almost a year under mysterious circumstances, came home. With no explanation of her whereabouts or why she was wearing a hospital dressing gown and slippers, Halstucha asked for sanctuary at the secret AC headquarters.

Holzfeuer added, "Her training will be grueling, but necessary to return her physique of Arno."

When asked if he was glad his old bandmate had returned, Toten Adler shrugged, "Whatever."

Drummer Gellend Adler added, "Halstucha coming back is like history repeating itself. Many events in time are circular in this way. Circular like a giant wheel. Like the Wheel of Pain."

When asked to comment on the situation, Halstucha said only that, "The future is still not set. It can change. There are many futures." --she then added, "Why didn‚t I get a fruitcup? The others got fruitcups with their shock treatments."

At recent shows, stunned audiences have witnessed the fantastic new addition to ArnoCorps, Vielmehr Klampfe. His sanity may be questionable, but his ability to play guitar is without comparison. We at the AAP would like to extend a warm welcome to Vielmehr.... and ask him to stop calling us at midnight and asking if we sponsor the evil DeciTech Corporation. For the last time, no one knows what you‚re talking about.

Read about his arrival on the Bios page.

Wheel Of Pain Push-Ups

Photos by Neil Jarvie Follow ArnoCorps on Facebook Follow ArnoCorps on Twitter