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Hasta la vista, Halstucha?

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Austrians vs. Hollywood

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2003 Holiday Greetings from ArnoCorps!

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Homecoming King?

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506 Ring Circus

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The Casualties Of Rock

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Homeland Security Investigation

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Burnt Ramen Reduced to Ashes

January 2001
Gilman Crowd Conquered









01.26.01
Gilman Crowd Conquered
Reported by: Klaus Gräbme

It was a cold and rainy night as I drove my Westfalia around the streets of Berekely, CA searching for the hollowed grounds of 924 Gilman St. where the American debut of ArnoCorps would take place. Clouds of tear gas and armed riot police chasing black clad ArnoFans, telltale signs that ArnoCorps were in the vicinity, were nowhere to be found. Was I too late? Was the club shut down by the Fascists?

After I finally found the rather nondescript looking club and started heading for the door I heard the distant rumbling of a helicopter. Having a flashback of previous ArnoCorps shows I screamed, "Polizei! Polizei!" and ran into the club with the swiftness of a gebirgs löwe. After I gave the doorman a few marks to secure my admittance I proceeded to go further inside, and what I found was quite shocking, yet strangely familiar. I found a club packed to the brim with people, some of whom had thick Germanic accents and were boisterously shouting slogans of freedom and solidarity, and others who had the strained look of anticipation on their faces. The crowd was contained by worn walls that were adorned with colorful anti-fascist sentiments reminding me of the Berlin Wall back home before it came toppling down. As I made my way towards the stage through a thick shroud of smoke the sound of whirling chopper blades became increasingly loud and I wondered if these walls would soon come down as well.

Suddenly, the chopper sound subsided and the smoke near the stage parted revealing a tall menacing figure who commenced to scream "Are you ready for ArnoCorps?!" "Holy strudelhosen! It's Holzfeuer!", I yelled as the band proceeded to tear into the epic, "Predator".

It quickly became clear to me that this new American incarnation of ArnoCorps was even more devastating than their European predecessors. Thunderous rhythms generated by the battery of Nagelbett and Toten Adler caused the floor to undulate while shards of bent guitar squaller from Halstucha and Inzo pierced my skull. Then there were Holzfeuer's vocals, vocals delivered with such passion and conviction thus leaving no doubt that he is a true believer of the ways of Arno. Songs such as "Predator", "Running Man", "Raw Deal", "True Lies", and "Terminator" and others were played in such punishing fashion as to give the crowd no choice but to go into a frenzy.

After the show I asked Holzfeuer how he thought their U.S. debut went over with the Americans. He replied with, "We are very pleased with tonight's proceedings. Our mission was to conquer and inform. To conquer their hearts with music and to inform their minds with the ways of Arno. We believe tonight's mission was a success and we are excited about bringing our message to even more people in this great land."

And bring their message to the people they will as they have just been ordered to assault Burnt Ramen in Richmond, CA and the Veteran's Hall in Brentwood, CA. Consider your attendance required.


 
Wheel Of Pain Push-Ups

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