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01. Holzfeuer
02. Vielmehr Klampfe
03. Inzo der Barrakuda
04. Erich Nagelbett
05. Karl Dichtschnur
06. Baron von Trotz

Past Members
07. Der Wölf
08. Gellend Adler
09. Toten Adler
10. Halstucha
11. Schlagbolzen


 

border Gellend Adler
ORIGIN: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
SPECIALTY: Flying Bass
WEAPON: Death-grip Steinberger
ACTIVE: 2000-2011
EXERCISE: Breast Stroke
QUOTE: "I felt the pump five times on that song."


The Adlers said goodbye to their eldest son in March of 1994. He wasn’t off to a prestigious university nor was he embarking on a career in the military. As Papa Adler put it, “Frankly, we were just sick of him. Ever since his brother Gellend disappeared years before, Toten acted like he was the center of the universe. We couldn’t do anything without him involving himself somehow or another. For God’s sake, I couldn’t take a shower without Toten coming in to see if I needed help scrubbing or shaving something. Finally, after he switched everyone’s medicinal stash with plain old tobacco, we had had enough. The leaders of our commune held a meeting and we took a vote....Toten was to be banished from the People of Terra camp. When I told him, this crazy son of a bitch got down and started beating the Earth with his fist and yelling, ‘Take that, Mother Earth! You’re a skanky, old bag, ain’t ya?!’ Then, I explained to him that it was a vote of the people, not the wish of our Mother. He apologized by caressing two dirt mounds he claimed were Mother Earth’s bosoms. Good riddance, I say.”

Alone in the world, Toten decided to seek out the one relative who hadn’t turned a back to him...his younger brother. As the police investigation into his brother’s disappearance had yielded no clues, Toten decided to go a different route. Using some recently acquired contacts in the Bay Area underground, Toten learned the rumor of a kidnapped American boy being enslaved somewhere in Austria. Apart from that, no further information was known. Figuring this was as good a lead as any, Toten Adler stowed away on a European bound oil tanker with only the clothes on his back and a copy of The Old Testament he’d lifted from an on-board priest. Alone, cold and nearing starvation, he cited the Book as the only thing that kept him going. “I ripped the pages out and started making paper airplanes. And soon I taught myself how to make swans and all sorts of cool sachen.”

Eventually, after weeks of hitchhiking, stowing away on train cars or simply walking, Toten found himself in Austria. However, his search had only just begun and his life would never be the same. “I asked people if they knew anything about my brother, but none of ‘em spoke English. So, I’d ask ‘em again, figuring that if I said it louder they’d understand, ya know? After doing this to some lady with a heart problem, I was arrested for disturbing the peace. I was released after three days with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. For the next two hours, I walked the streets and considered all my options, but then I started getting a headache, so I figured I’d just go get really plastered in some bar.”

While finishing his eighth beer in a corner tavern, a band took the stage. The moment the first note was played, Toten Adler found himself suddenly sobered and alert under the power of this music. It spoke to him, it resonated in him something deep and powerful. It was the first time since entering the Austrian borders that he understood something clearly. It was as though the music itself were his own native language. That band was ArnoCorps, then in its second incarnation. Without money to pay for his drinks, Toten rushed out of the bar before hearing the entire set, but was nonetheless a changed man. “All my life, I’d been searching for a purpose, ya know? Something that says to the world, ‘This is why Toten Adler was put on this planet,’ but I never knew what that was, until that night. Music. Music! I wanted to rock!”

Although without a passport, Toten made the decision to remain in Austria. His days were spent sleeping in hay lofts and eating stolen chicken eggs uncooked. At night, Toten would either be en route to or rocking out at an ArnoCorps show. Rumors began circulating that Austrian officials were on the look out for an illegal American. But, as Toten put it, he had no reason to worry. “I was so immersed in the Austrian culture and the power of Arno that, without even trying, I was Austrian. I’m crazy like that. I was speaking it fluently and nobody was the wiser.”

Overwhelmed by inspiration, Toten began to hone his own musical abilities. Unfortunately, with no money, he was unable to afford an instrument. But the power of Arno surging through him too strong to ignore, Toten practiced day after day, week after week, playing his very first air bass. “I designed it myself,” he would later say. “Its color was gelb, like the sun, it shape gebogen like a woman.” Soon, Toten had mastered his audio waffe. While attending his 34th ArnoCorps performance, in the town of Auftkat, Toten jumped on stage and began to jam with the band. Within seconds, however, he was dragged away by a bouncer who just figured this was some kid who had gone verruckt. Truth was, this was someone who had been profoundly changed by the power of Arno....as though Crom himself had wished it so. “After I got tossed out,” Toten added, “I went to read a newspaper. It wasn’t until then that I realized the date. I’d been in Austria for 5 years. I was, like, whatever.”

Returning to the Bay Area in 1999 via a Dutch cheese carrier, Toten immediately “borrowed” an electric bass from a touring Christian rock band, Palming Sunday, by passing himself off as a roady. Word soon got out about the bassist’s unreproachable ability, his devotion to music, his thick Austrian accent that sometimes just disappeared. Almost immediately, he was recruited by members of local thrash band, Sex and Murder, but was asked to leave the band two days later for riotous behavior. There were more offers waiting for him and, after short stints, immediate retractions. It seemed Toten Adler’s playing and on-stage presence were too vicious. His longest stint was as founder of the Bay Area’s The Weasel Behinds, which lasted four months and 8 performances. Said one ex-bandmate, “Toten Adler was the most violent person I’ve ever met, man. That is one guy who needs some serious medication. Crazy bastard broke three of our amps in one night by jumping into ‘em....and that was just for a goddam sound check!”, then adding, “And what’s up with that accent?! Sometimes he’d tell us to ‘feel the pumpitude’ and other times he’d say ‘Y’all ready to whoop some ass?’”

Twenty seven bands later, Toten was thrilled when he heard the rumor that ArnoCorps, the very group that inspired him, was going to reform in the Bay Area. “I was glad that most of the band had got killed in that crash or else I never coulda auditioned,” Toten says with a smile. “Holding a piece of glass between my teeth, I cut the straps on my arms an’ busted out of that hospital my old man had stuck me in for observation and made it to the auditions. After Holzfeuer gave me the good news, I never looked back. Well, once, but that was ‘cause I thought I heard a celestial voice. But, turns out it was just some hooker.”

When approached by Papa Adler (at the hearing to officially relinquish all familial ties with his insane son) and asked if he had uncovered any info about Gellend’s whereabouts, Toten smacked himself on the forehead. “That’s why I went there, I was tryin’ to remember,” he said, roaring with laughter.

Asked if he was going back to search for his brother, Toten shrugged. “Nah, screw him.”*

Although no longer considered an Adler by blood, Toten Adler is a member of ArnoCorps by strength, belief and sheer dedication.

*As fate would have it, Toten was finally reunited with younger brother Gellend just two years later, and are now bandmates in ArnoCorps.

 
Wheel Of Pain Push-Ups

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